...Fresh in from Church

So...I'm just getting home from church. And, while I was there, I remembered why I used to avoid the place. And, no, I wasn't afraid of condemnation and I wasn't afraid that somebody might know that I dealt with men. I wasn't tired of the old church ladies talking to me like they didn't have any good sense. But the thing that made me very wary about going into the church was...church boys. And I'm referring to two specific sorts.

First, you have the guys who have been in the church for God-knows-how-long and they managed to sneak under the radar. So now they are free to do their dirt because everyone knows Brother So-and-So is saved. They may be on the praise team or part of the band (as they usually are) or they may even be a minister now, but you know that they are freaks on the low. These guys are always loved by the pastor and ministers. They are held in the highest esteem by the congregation at large. They are usually fairly attractive and well-built. They have dated or may be currently dating one of the pretty saved girls, but you ran across them one time in the gay chat on BlackPlanet and they've been trying to serve you dick/ass ever since. Or worse, if you grew up in the church, they tried something with you once when you shared a room at the regional church conference. But, at the end of the day, they are wayyyy to confused about their sexuality for you to consider anything long-term with them.

Second, you have these really sexy guys who are also really devoted to the ministry. They are the right hand men to the ministers, but they are so fucking sexy. Dark, beautiful eyes. Smooth skin. Full lips. Bubble butts. But they are the emissaries of God, so lusting for them is REALLY bad. And, if you do manage to get one, you have pissed off God and that's never a good idea.

Oh, church boys, why do you taunt me?