Using Prejudice/Stereotypes to Your “Benefit”

As an upwardly mobile Black man, I often float between multiple worlds, which view me very differently. It is more than clear to (nearly) any Black person that meets me that I am not (nor have I ever been) a thug. However, I have still experienced situations where white women clutched their purses while near me, whether I'm in a tee and jeans or a suit with my briefcase. It is quite a frustrating occurrence (though I'm sure there may be a rationale/logic of sorts behind the behavior) and often starts a Ludacris-Larenz Tate Crash conversation in my head. "If I'm viewed as a thug no matter how I present myself, no matter how I strive for excellence, no matter how personable I choose to be, what's the fucking point?" I generally move on quickly, because I have other reasons for my behaviors (financial security, my own general comfort, etc.). But it's still worth noting that the conversation crosses my mind, even 3 years after graduating from Princeton University.

In general, I'm not willing to be the coon that people think I am due to my bigblackman-ness, but I have found that I'm willing to feed into it for my own benefit on occasion. I've donned the angry black man aura to keep people from making small talk with me when I'm busy, to keep the conservationists handing out pamphlets on Michigan Avenue from even trying to hand me one, or even to keep the arrogant asshole at work from condescending to me when we interact (even though he's condescending to everyone else). And I guess, in a similar way, I have done so among certain Black people too. Because education/social class can be a touchy area, I've downplayed (or neglected to mention) some of my achievements to keep people comfortable. I didn't necessary play into the notparticularlybrightblackguy stereotype, but I definitely have played into the notparticularlyeducatedblackguy stereotype just to avoid the "Ohhhh, you're one of them" conversation. I just often feel as if it isn't worth it.

I often wonder how much harm that does to the greater move toward Black men being seen as people versus stereotypes. However, I would venture to say that anyone who assumes my corny ass is anything close to hood has no sense of the culture in the first place. AND (more importantly) I think it's ridiculous that Black people have to serve as cultural tutors for the mainstream culture.

On a related but different note, if I were drafted into the military, I think I'd make full use of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I don't respect the policy, because it is clearly discriminatory and implies that homophobia is the accepted norm. But, on some level, I'm all for using it to my advantage. You don't want any homos in the military. Well, sorry, I'm a fairy, so I can't die for you. Let the homophobes take the bullets. I'll sit home and chill.

Again, I wonder how much harm this does to the cause, but I guess I think this is one area where I am willing to let people destroy themselves to make a point. If sexuality is sufficiently important to the military or the general American public to warrant turning away willing soldiers just because they are gay, I'd never put my life on the line in any war the US military decides to wage. For me, that would be aiding my oppressor and I'd rather not.

Expectation of Racism = Racist?

In the wake of President Obama’s election and AG Holder’s comments regarding America’s cowardice in discussing race, there has a been firestorm of “Get over slavery. Get over the past. Get over yourselves.” rhetoric lobbed at African Americans. I’ve read many comments to the tune of “Slavery has been over for 200 years. You weren’t there, so why are you so concerned about it?” and “You guys should stop complaining. We elected a Black guy for President.”

Bringing the conversation a bit closer to home, multiple statements have been made to or about me with regards to my race. A coworker (in fact, someone who was technically a mentor for me) once asked me if I could communicate to my “brothers and sisters how to be both in touch with their race without holding onto all the bad parts”. He then commented that I, like his Mexican wife, was an exceptional minority and he hoped I could smack some sense into my other minority coworkers, who couldn’t “see the big picture”. Given my blank expression, he followed with “Or am I being Tom the Dumb Priveleged White Guy by even asking this question?” Clearly, he knew my response before I spoke a word.

On another occasion, an older white woman commented to her granddaughter who, while sitting next to me on a train, managed to hit me with her American Girl dolls and accessories no less than 30 times in a 45 minute train ride to Gary, “He should be in a much better mood. I mean, we just elected a Black president. He should be grateful.” Now, anyone who knows me knows I am less than tactful when disrespected, so of course “Are you fucking kidding me?” was my response to her statement, that I guess she assumed 1. I hadn’t heard or 2. I wasn’t man enough (not that I really believe in being “man enough” to do anything) to respond to.

When I hear people reject conversations about race, make comments about being post-racial given Obama’s election, make racially insensitive remarks, or assert my “Magic/Good Negro”-ness, I may or may not respond. However, I am never surprised. When someone remarks (verbally or noverbally) on how surprised they are at my manner of speech or seek my agreement in their blanket statements about what Black people ought/need to do, I’m often annoyed, but it is something that I’ve come to expect. People are uncomfortable with conversations which make them feel guilty, bad, or any other negative emotion, even if it’s not the intention of the conversation.

When AG Holder commented on America being a nation of cowards in regards to racial conversation, many people heard it as “White people are cowards” and blew up in response, when he was actually talking about all of us. He was talking about Black students who find it easier to sit together at lunch rather than sit with their Asian friend from PSY 101 or their white buddy from high school. He was talking about Whites who shut down when slavery is mentioned as a problematic part of American History. He was talking about everyone who says, “Why don’t we have a [my group here] Heritage month?” even though they may. (I work for the state, so I see signs for every kind of history/appreciation/cultural month every day when I enter work.)

This orientation (expecting racism) works for me, because it allows me to avoid slicing people up with my words every few days and living up to the Angry Black Man title. But my ex said that my approach was problematic and potentially even racist, because I don’t give non-Black people the benefit of the doubt. (To clarify, I don’t give Black people the benefit of the doubt either. I know that ignorance is an equal opportunity infestation.)

So I ask the question, “Is the expectation of racism racist?”