As an upwardly mobile Black man, I often float between multiple worlds, which view me very differently. It is more than clear to (nearly) any Black person that meets me that I am not (nor have I ever been) a thug. However, I have still experienced situations where white women clutched their purses while near me, whether I'm in a tee and jeans or a suit with my briefcase. It is quite a frustrating occurrence (though I'm sure there may be a rationale/logic of sorts behind the behavior) and often starts a Ludacris-Larenz Tate Crash conversation in my head. "If I'm viewed as a thug no matter how I present myself, no matter how I strive for excellence, no matter how personable I choose to be, what's the fucking point?" I generally move on quickly, because I have other reasons for my behaviors (financial security, my own general comfort, etc.). But it's still worth noting that the conversation crosses my mind, even 3 years after graduating from Princeton University.
In general, I'm not willing to be the coon that people think I am due to my bigblackman-ness, but I have found that I'm willing to feed into it for my own benefit on occasion. I've donned the angry black man aura to keep people from making small talk with me when I'm busy, to keep the conservationists handing out pamphlets on Michigan Avenue from even trying to hand me one, or even to keep the arrogant asshole at work from condescending to me when we interact (even though he's condescending to everyone else). And I guess, in a similar way, I have done so among certain Black people too. Because education/social class can be a touchy area, I've downplayed (or neglected to mention) some of my achievements to keep people comfortable. I didn't necessary play into the notparticularlybrightblackguy stereotype, but I definitely have played into the notparticularlyeducatedblackguy stereotype just to avoid the "Ohhhh, you're one of them" conversation. I just often feel as if it isn't worth it.
I often wonder how much harm that does to the greater move toward Black men being seen as people versus stereotypes. However, I would venture to say that anyone who assumes my corny ass is anything close to hood has no sense of the culture in the first place. AND (more importantly) I think it's ridiculous that Black people have to serve as cultural tutors for the mainstream culture.
On a related but different note, if I were drafted into the military, I think I'd make full use of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I don't respect the policy, because it is clearly discriminatory and implies that homophobia is the accepted norm. But, on some level, I'm all for using it to my advantage. You don't want any homos in the military. Well, sorry, I'm a fairy, so I can't die for you. Let the homophobes take the bullets. I'll sit home and chill.
Again, I wonder how much harm this does to the cause, but I guess I think this is one area where I am willing to let people destroy themselves to make a point. If sexuality is sufficiently important to the military or the general American public to warrant turning away willing soldiers just because they are gay, I'd never put my life on the line in any war the US military decides to wage. For me, that would be aiding my oppressor and I'd rather not.
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