Blowing Smoke

Let me start by saying that I support positivity and positive feedback offered to friends and family.

With that said...can we stop blowing smoke up people's asses? LOL. I mean, I understand that your heart is in the right place, but you really set people up for failure when you pump them up with falsehoods.

"Ooh, baby, you sang that song so well!" Did he? Now the poor child is going to try out for American Idol and get his little heart crushed when Simon cuts open his heart as Paula (oops, she got fired, so I guess I mean Ellen) gives the side-eye and Randy spouts something supposedly urban and incomprehensible.

"Do I look fat in this, honey?" "Nooooo." Is that so? Will that temporary boost to her self-esteem last when someone approaches her and asks if she's interested in purchasing a body shaper? Or when she sees photos of herself in that dress on facebook? I know we mean well, but it just has the potential to open up some nasty doors.

"I'm lonely." "Oh, you'll find someone, babe. It just isn't your time yet." I've met so many older women and men who've yet to find that someone. 40 or 50 years old and they've never really had a substantive relationship. Though it is nice to give them that ego stroke or pat on the back, perhaps they'd be better served by some advice that could really positively impact their chances. "Jim, I know you've been looking for a nice girl to date. Maybe the seedy hip hop club isn't the best place to find one." "Hey Jim. I just joined this gay rugby league. There's some pretty cool guys on the team. Maybe you should join. You might meet someone cool." Or perhaps you can do something a bit more proactive. If Jim is a photographer and you know a young lady (or guy, if that's Jim's thing, lol) who loves to talk about or look at photography, create a space where they can meet. You don't have to actively set them up, but just have them in the same place at the same time and see if something sparks. I think that is a much more useful and realistic intervention for your friend. "Keep hope alive" was catchy when Jesse Jackson said it once upon a time, but it isn't the best mantra for someone looking for love...in my humble opinion. LOL.

Again, I know we mean well when we blow that sweet smoke up our friends' and loved ones' respective asses, but I just wonder if it does more harm than good. Food for thought.